Causes of stress
The situations
and pressures that cause stress are known as stressors. We usually think of
stressors as being negative, such as an exhausting work schedule or a rocky
relationship. However, anything that puts high demands on you or forces you to
adjust can be stressful. This includes positive events such as getting married,
buying a house, going to college, or receiving a promotion.
Of course, not
all stress is caused by external factors. Stress can also be self-generated,
for example, when you worry excessively about something that may or may not
happen, or have irrational, pessimistic thoughts about life.
What causes
stress depends, at least in part, on your perception of it. Something that's
stressful to you may not faze someone else; they may even enjoy it. For
example, your morning commute may make you anxious and tense because you worry
that traffic will make you late. Others, however, may find the trip relaxing
because they allow more than enough time and enjoy listening to music while
they drive.
Common external
causes of stress:
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Major life
changes
Work or school
Relationship
difficulties
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Financial
problems
Being too busy
Children and
family
|
Common
internal causes of stress:
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Chronic worry
Pessimism
Negative
self-talk
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Unrealistic
expectations/Perfectionism
Rigid
thinking, lack of flexibility
All-or-nothing
attitude
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Your ability to
tolerate stress depends on many factors, including the quality of your health
and relationships, your general outlook on life, your emotional intelligence, and
genetics. Are you are glass ‘half full’ or a glass ‘half empty’ person? If you are the ‘half full’ person this will
help you to combat stress. If you look
for a benefit in every situation and use it for growth, this will also help. If
you are a ‘survivor’ rather than a ‘victim’ this will help. If you are doing something stressful because you
personally get a benefit from it like attention and sympathy, this will
definitely not help.
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What's stressful for you?
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What's
stressful for you may be quite different from what's stressful to someone
else. For example:
Susan finds
looking after her parents a joy, but her sister Melanie finds it stressful
Rosemary loves
getting up in front of people and speaking but Carol shakes and can’t speak
Ann loved her
drive to work as it gave her time to think and listen to her music, while
James hated it because he always worried there would be an accident and he
would be late
Angela
complains in a restaurant if necessary but Don couldn’t possibly complain so
he just doesn’t go back
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Your support network – A strong
network of supportive friends and family members can be an enormous buffer
against life’s stressors. On the flip side, the more lonely and isolated you
are, the greater your vulnerability to stress.
Your sense of control – It may be
easier to take stress in your stride if you have confidence in yourself and
your ability to influence events and persevere through challenges. If you feel
like things are out of your control, you’re likely to have less tolerance for
stress.
Your attitude and outlook – Optimistic
people are often more stress-hardy. They tend to embrace challenges, have a
strong sense of humour, and accept that change is a part of life. Pessimistic people can spiral into depression
and stressful situations very quickly.
Ability to let go of the past – You have to
accept your life as it is now and let go of everything negative that has
happened in the past. If you are
constantly trying to change your life you will become more stressed. You need to slow down and look at all of the
areas in your life that aren’t working and put a plan together to improve
them. People normally become too busy
because they don’t want to look at what is not working in their lives and they
rush and make themselves ill. A friend
of mine is always causing himself to have big accidents and this is because the
Universe is telling him to slow down and look at his life, and the more he
doesn’t the more the Universe makes him ill.
Your ability to deal with your emotions – You’re
extremely vulnerable to stress if you don’t know how to calm and soothe
yourself when you’re feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed by a situation. The
ability to bring your emotions into balance helps you bounce back from
adversity and is a skill that can be learned at any age.
Your knowledge and preparation – The more you
know about a stressful situation, including how long it will last and what to
expect, the easier it is to cope. For example, if you go into surgery with a
picture of what to expect post-op, a painful recovery will be less traumatic
than if you were expecting to bounce back immediately.
Your health – If you are fit, eat healthily, your
brain chemistry is balanced and you absorb all the necessary supplements, you
will cope with stress more efficiently.
If you exercise regularly this will also help to de-stress you.
Your ability to laugh - Put on a funny
DVD and have a good old fashioned belly laugh.
Laughing will relieve stress quicker than anything. Try and see the funny side of every situation
and laugh and try and make other people laugh as well. Laughter is so healing and we all seem to
have lost our sense of humour with everything that is happening in our lives.
Anger triggers stress
Anger can be
very destructive and if unresolved, can cause major stress and illness. You need to be able to recognize when you are
angry and not suppress it. If you have
not able to show anger as a child this is very difficult to achieve.
