What causes stress?

Causes of stress

The situations and pressures that cause stress are known as stressors. We usually think of stressors as being negative, such as an exhausting work schedule or a rocky relationship. However, anything that puts high demands on you or forces you to adjust can be stressful. This includes positive events such as getting married, buying a house, going to college, or receiving a promotion.

Of course, not all stress is caused by external factors. Stress can also be self-generated, for example, when you worry excessively about something that may or may not happen, or have irrational, pessimistic thoughts about life.

What causes stress depends, at least in part, on your perception of it. Something that's stressful to you may not faze someone else; they may even enjoy it. For example, your morning commute may make you anxious and tense because you worry that traffic will make you late. Others, however, may find the trip relaxing because they allow more than enough time and enjoy listening to music while they drive.

Common external causes of stress:

Major life changes Work or school Relationship difficulties

Financial problems Being too busy Children and family

 

Common internal causes of stress:

 

Chronic worry Pessimism Negative self-talk

Unrealistic expectations/Perfectionism Rigid thinking, lack of flexibility All-or-nothing attitude

Your ability to tolerate stress depends on many factors, including the quality of your health and relationships, your general outlook on life, your emotional intelligence, and genetics. Are you are glass ‘half full’ or a glass ‘half empty’ person?  If you are the ‘half full’ person this will help you to combat stress.  If you look for a benefit in every situation and use it for growth, this will also help. If you are a ‘survivor’ rather than a ‘victim’ this will help.  If you are doing something stressful because you personally get a benefit from it like attention and sympathy, this will definitely not help.

What's stressful for you?

What's stressful for you may be quite different from what's stressful to someone else. For example: Susan finds looking after her parents a joy, but her sister Melanie finds it stressful Rosemary loves getting up in front of people and speaking but Carol shakes and can’t speak Ann loved her drive to work as it gave her time to think and listen to her music, while James hated it because he always worried there would be an accident and he would be late Angela complains in a restaurant if necessary but Don couldn’t possibly complain so he just doesn’t go back

Things that influence your stress tolerance level:

Your support network – A strong network of supportive friends and family members can be an enormous buffer against life’s stressors. On the flip side, the more lonely and isolated you are, the greater your vulnerability to stress.

Your sense of control – It may be easier to take stress in your stride if you have confidence in yourself and your ability to influence events and persevere through challenges. If you feel like things are out of your control, you’re likely to have less tolerance for stress.

Your attitude and outlook – Optimistic people are often more stress-hardy. They tend to embrace challenges, have a strong sense of humour, and accept that change is a part of life.  Pessimistic people can spiral into depression and stressful situations very quickly.

Ability to let go of the past – You have to accept your life as it is now and let go of everything negative that has happened in the past.  If you are constantly trying to change your life you will become more stressed.  You need to slow down and look at all of the areas in your life that aren’t working and put a plan together to improve them.  People normally become too busy because they don’t want to look at what is not working in their lives and they rush and make themselves ill.  A friend of mine is always causing himself to have big accidents and this is because the Universe is telling him to slow down and look at his life, and the more he doesn’t the more the Universe makes him ill.

Your ability to deal with your emotions – You’re extremely vulnerable to stress if you don’t know how to calm and soothe yourself when you’re feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed by a situation. The ability to bring your emotions into balance helps you bounce back from adversity and is a skill that can be learned at any age.

Your knowledge and preparation – The more you know about a stressful situation, including how long it will last and what to expect, the easier it is to cope. For example, if you go into surgery with a picture of what to expect post-op, a painful recovery will be less traumatic than if you were expecting to bounce back immediately.

Your health – If you are fit, eat healthily, your brain chemistry is balanced and you absorb all the necessary supplements, you will cope with stress more efficiently.  If you exercise regularly this will also help to de-stress you.

Your ability to laugh - Put on a funny DVD and have a good old fashioned belly laugh.  Laughing will relieve stress quicker than anything.  Try and see the funny side of every situation and laugh and try and make other people laugh as well.  Laughter is so healing and we all seem to have lost our sense of humour with everything that is happening in our lives.

Anger triggers stress

Anger can be very destructive and if unresolved, can cause major stress and illness.  You need to be able to recognize when you are angry and not suppress it.  If you have not able to show anger as a child this is very difficult to achieve.