for an appointment contact me on info@unleashyourfullpotential.co.uk
In recent years the increase in diabetes II and the precursor, Syndrome X is at epidemic proportions. What are the causes - well believe it or not healthy eating can be causing this!!! A million $ industry has been set up with smoothies and fruit juicing and juicing - these full the body with sugar which raises your insulin and in turn raises your blood sugar level - and then makes you hungry so you want to eat more!! Not only do they do this but they ruin your teeth with the hit of acid.
So what can you do about it?
1. Smoothies/juicing should be VEG and not be full of fruit. You get more vitamins and minerals from veg with hardly any sugar
2. Eat a piece of fruit a day with some protein like a couple of nuts - dont have it in a fruit juice! If you want to have a fruit juice make sure it is diluted and only a very small amount and then drink it through a straw
3. Eat 5 Veg a day and one piece of fruit - fruit is very high in calories and contains lots of sugar. If you want more fruit eat lower sugar fruit like an apple
4 Eat good quality protein at each meal
5. Try the Hay diet which is food combining - you dont mix protein with carbs - this will allow the food to be digested quicker and better and cut the calories in half!!! This also cuts inflammation and allieviates problems like arthritis
6. Exercise every day
7. Cut out everything sweet from your diet for about 3 months and then you should be able to re-introduce it
8. Try to cut down on carbs like pasta and bread
You may find that the general information from doctors is not really correct from the research these days. I would suggest you read Joe Mercola and Al Sears - two amazing American doctors that talk so much sense and give great advice. You can reverse this is 3 months and you dont want to end up on medication??
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
Monday, 30 March 2015
Easter, overeating and chocolate!
please contact me on info@unleashyourfullpotential.co.uk for a session
Well we are now approaching Easter where people are already being encouraged to overeat! The big family lunches full of meat and cakes have been advertised for many weeks and the easter eggs have been in the shops since Christmas!! Is all this food necessary though? The retailers are trying to make Easter into another Christmas so that we will spend lots of money. Television shows are encouraging baking of cup cakes, cakes and fattening puddings. All this on top of loads of chocolate eggs!!
There was a program on this week about calories and for those of you who read my blogs you know that I bang on about knowing how many calories are in your diet! I accept that not all calories are not equal and that an advocado is much better for you than a bag of crisps - however if you add an advocado in your diet daily (or a handful of nuts) you will put on weight!! The calorie totals for people of 2,000 for a woman and 2,500 for a man are way over what they should be! This is if you have a good metabolism, are very active and reasonably young - it should be near 1500. If you are on a diet or put on weight easily it is more important you know about calories over and above everything else. Even the diet plans that claim not to count calories do underneath their schemes.
The average Easter egg contains around 530 calories which will be approx a third of your daily allowance!! So if you tot up the calories you will be eating over Easter with the eggs and all the other food you are quite likely to put on 5 lb of weight - is it really worth it??!!!! You will be eating over 5,000 calories a day! If you are having eggs you dont need puddings and other cakes. You dont need a starter and tea in the evening! Why not chop your egg up and eat a bit every day - that way you dont bombard your body and put on the weight. Also dont forget that you will have a sugar rush which will make you even hungrier and you most probably will come out in spots as well!!!
I did a talk last monday night about muscle testing and the girl I was using as a model was so sensitive to sugar that her arm dropped down without me even pushing on it!! Because I have always been on a diet I have never had an Easter egg in my life and I dont miss it - I am not keen on chocolate and it is not worth the calories. REMEMBER NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THE TASTE OF BEING SLIM!
Well we are now approaching Easter where people are already being encouraged to overeat! The big family lunches full of meat and cakes have been advertised for many weeks and the easter eggs have been in the shops since Christmas!! Is all this food necessary though? The retailers are trying to make Easter into another Christmas so that we will spend lots of money. Television shows are encouraging baking of cup cakes, cakes and fattening puddings. All this on top of loads of chocolate eggs!!
There was a program on this week about calories and for those of you who read my blogs you know that I bang on about knowing how many calories are in your diet! I accept that not all calories are not equal and that an advocado is much better for you than a bag of crisps - however if you add an advocado in your diet daily (or a handful of nuts) you will put on weight!! The calorie totals for people of 2,000 for a woman and 2,500 for a man are way over what they should be! This is if you have a good metabolism, are very active and reasonably young - it should be near 1500. If you are on a diet or put on weight easily it is more important you know about calories over and above everything else. Even the diet plans that claim not to count calories do underneath their schemes.
The average Easter egg contains around 530 calories which will be approx a third of your daily allowance!! So if you tot up the calories you will be eating over Easter with the eggs and all the other food you are quite likely to put on 5 lb of weight - is it really worth it??!!!! You will be eating over 5,000 calories a day! If you are having eggs you dont need puddings and other cakes. You dont need a starter and tea in the evening! Why not chop your egg up and eat a bit every day - that way you dont bombard your body and put on the weight. Also dont forget that you will have a sugar rush which will make you even hungrier and you most probably will come out in spots as well!!!
I did a talk last monday night about muscle testing and the girl I was using as a model was so sensitive to sugar that her arm dropped down without me even pushing on it!! Because I have always been on a diet I have never had an Easter egg in my life and I dont miss it - I am not keen on chocolate and it is not worth the calories. REMEMBER NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THE TASTE OF BEING SLIM!
Monday, 23 March 2015
How Ayurvedic body matches can affect your weight
please contact me for an appointment on info@unleashyourfullpotential.co.uk
People of kapha constitution have well-developed bodies. There is, however, a strong tendency for these individuals to carry excess weight. Their chests are expanded and broad. The veins and tendons of kapha people are not obvious because of their thick skin and their muscle development is good. The bones are not prominent.
Ayurvedic Body Types
As I am talking about body types, I
thought I would add in the body types relevant to Indian Medicine, called
Ayurvedic. You will notice that they
match up with the three main body types once again reinforcing that your body
type is instrumental in how you manage your weight and exercise. Again most people are normally a merge of two
types but one type is normally predominant.
This is what an Ayurvedic
practitioner would recommend for each body type for food, exercise and herbs
balance the body.
Remedies
|
Vata
|
Pitta
|
Kapha
|
Food
|
Warm, well cooked food. Sweet, sour and
salty tastes
|
Warm to cool rather than steaming hot.
Sweet, bitter and astringent tastes.
|
Decreased quantities of warm food.
Pungent, bitter and astringent tastes. To be taken earlier than 10 am and not
later than 6pm.
|
Exercise
|
Moderate exercise which may include
jogging, swimming, Yoga, cycling and weight
lifting
|
Regular and vigorous.
|
|
Herbal Dietary supplements
|
Ashwagandha, shatavari, haritaki,
Guggul, Trikatu, Vata tea, Calming Tea.
|
Haritaki, Bhumiamla, Chyavanprash,
surakta, sitopladi churan, pitta Tea.
|
Guggul, sitopladi churan, trikatu,
chyavanprash, Kapha Tea
|
Vata body type (ectomorph)
Here are some of the common
characteristics of people who have a predominantly Vata constitution.
·
Creativity, mental quickness
·
Slenderness; lightest of the
three body types
·
Tendency toward cold hands and
feet, discomfort in cold climates
·
Excitable, lively, fun
personality
·
Variable appetite and digestive
efficiency
·
Physical Features:
People of vata
constitution are generally physically underdeveloped. Their chests are flat and
their veins and muscle tendons are visible, the skin is cold, rough, dry and
cracked. Vata people generally are either too tall or too short, with thin
frames which reveal prominent joints and bone-ends because of poor muscle
development.
Physiologically,
the appetite and digestion are variable. Vata people love sweet, sour and salty
tastes and like hot drinks. The production of urine is scanty and the faeces
are dry, hard and small in quantity. They have a tendency to perspire less than
other constitutional types. Their sleep may be disturbed and they will sleep
less than the other types. Their hands and feet are often cold.
Pitta (mesomorph)
Here are some of the common characteristics
of people who have a predominantly pitta body
type.
·
Medium physique, strong,
well-built
·
Strong digestion, strong
appetite; get irritated if they have to miss or wait for a meal
·
Mind is focused and sharp
·
Tend toward anger, frustration or
irritability when under stress
·
Excellent
memory
Physical Features:
These people are of medium height, are slender and body frame may be
delicate. Their chests are not as flat as those of vata people and they show a
medium prominence of veins and muscle tendons. The bones are not as prominent
as in the vata individual. Muscle development is moderate.
Physiologically, these people have a strong metabolism, good
digestion and resulting strong appetites. The person of pitta constitution usually
takes large quantities of food and liquid. Pitta types have a natural craving
for sweet, bitter and astringent tastes and enjoy cold drinks.
Kapha (endomorph)
Here are some
of the common characteristics of people who have a predominantly Kapha constitution.
·
Easy-going, relaxed, slow-paced
·
Physically strong and with a
sturdy, heavier build
·
Slow moving and graceful
·
Tend towards being overweight;
may also suffer from sluggish digestion therefore not losing any weight
People of kapha constitution have well-developed bodies. There is, however, a strong tendency for these individuals to carry excess weight. Their chests are expanded and broad. The veins and tendons of kapha people are not obvious because of their thick skin and their muscle development is good. The bones are not prominent.
Physiologically, kapha people have regular appetites. Due to a slow
metabolism and a poor digestion, they tend to consume less food but cannot lose
weight.
Chinese Medicine
A very simple explanation of Chinese Medicine is that it is based
around the five elements, Water, Fire, Wood, Earth and Metal which aren’t
exactly different body types but all of
these elements refer to different parts of the body and control how they
work. Chinese medicine has been used
over 5,000 years with great success and if you would like to know what element
you are I would suggest that you select a local practitioner or buy a book and
get the good old dowser out!
Chinese doctors then prescribe herbs and diet according to what type
of element you are. Again you are likely
to be a mixture of two and once you understand the concept you can see how this
affects your health, weight and build – it is really fascinating.
From a weight loss point of view the one with which I have had great
experience is water, as this is the one that controls the kidneys and
bladder. When being diagnosed I was
informed I was mainly water with a little fire that gave me damp! The diagnosis was correct because obviously I
have suffered with tremendous water retention, my kidneys and bladder have not
worked correctly and I like my food cooked – apparently raw food makes damp
worse. Also I was informed that I shouldn’t drink too much water as it added to
my problem – something I had suspected for a long time.
Thursday, 19 March 2015
How the ectomorph body shape can affect your weight
How the ectomorph body shape can affect your weight
for a session with me please email me at info@unleashyourfullpotential.co.uk
for a session with me please email me at info@unleashyourfullpotential.co.uk
Thyroid
Type (ectomorph)
The
Thyroid body type is characterised by a fine narrow bone structure and long limbs.
This body type often has a ‘race-horse’ or ‘grey hound’ appearance. Many
dancers and models belong to this body type. Thyroid types often crave
stimulants such as caffeine, nicotine and artificial sweeteners, and may miss
meals. They often have problems with unstable blood sugar levels, which can
cause fatigue and cravings for sugar and stimulants. Generally speaking,
thyroid types do not gain weight easily and have a very high metabolic rate. Of
all the body types they are least likely to develop cellulite and if it does
occur, it is on the buttocks and back of the thighs.
Tuesday, 17 March 2015
The Mesomorph body type and how it affects your weight
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Android type (mesomorph)
The
android body type has broad shoulders and strong muscular limbs. The trunk is
somewhat straight up and down and there is not much of a waist. The pelvis is
narrow and the hips do not flare. Android types have an anabolic metabolism,
which means that they tend to be ‘body- building’ and will gain weight in the
upper part of their body so that they may become apple-shaped. Most of their
weight gain occurs on the front of the abdomen. They build muscle mass easily
and make good athletes. They tend to produce more male hormones than do the
other body types. Android types tend to crave foods that are high in
cholesterol and salt. The body turns cholesterol into steroid hormones, which
will have a body building effect. This may lead to some cellulite in the
abdominal area, trunk and upper buttocks, but not below the hips.
|
|
Friday, 13 March 2015
How body shapes can affect your ability to lose weight and keep it off
for a session with me please email info@unleashyourfullpotential.co.uk
In my last few blogs I have talked about a lot of reasons why people cant lose weight and keep it off. One of these reasons is body shapes. Over the next few days I am going to blog extracts of my book on weight loss, WHY?WEIGHT, which explains in great detail all the differences. Can you work out which one you are? The extra body shape I talk about is from the Liver Doctor as she finds this one in her clinic all the time. It is absolutely fascinating and explains a lot about why some people can eat what they want and how some people (like me!) just look at food and put on weight.
Sometimes the fonts and size change when inserted from Word - sorry about that!! I will start listing the different types tomorrow
In my last few blogs I have talked about a lot of reasons why people cant lose weight and keep it off. One of these reasons is body shapes. Over the next few days I am going to blog extracts of my book on weight loss, WHY?WEIGHT, which explains in great detail all the differences. Can you work out which one you are? The extra body shape I talk about is from the Liver Doctor as she finds this one in her clinic all the time. It is absolutely fascinating and explains a lot about why some people can eat what they want and how some people (like me!) just look at food and put on weight.
Sometimes the fonts and size change when inserted from Word - sorry about that!! I will start listing the different types tomorrow
Genetics and build
When
you look around at the population you see that people come in innumerable
different shapes and sizes. This is
partly due to genetics but also to do with build. Some builds can lose weight (or even have
trouble putting on weight) and some builds put on weight just looking at
food. This is not an illusion, this is
the truth!
When I
first started to research diets and exercise, I came across a very useful book
written by Dr Sandra Cabot on different body types. From her research she then added another body
type and this shows how much experience she has with body types and how she
understands them. I have looked at other
explanations of the three main body types, but I liked Sandra’s explanation and
description of them all, including her new one, so I decided to incorporate her
research. Sandra then recommends diet
and exercise to suit your body shape.
I
highly recommend Sandra’s website and books as she is not only a diet expert
but an expert on liver and hormones as well and suggest you sign up for her
newsletter, as it is packed with useful information. Sandra’s website and books
are listed in the appended Recommended Reading section
I would have tried to paraphrase Sandra’s descriptions
but have decided that I most probably would have taken something away from
these descriptions, so what follows is from Sandra’s website.
Although I use Sandra’s explanation of body types, I
list Ayurvedic and Chinese body types are well. You will see that they overlap and if your
intuition points you in the direction of one of these other types, find
yourself a good practitioner!
Body Frames
Also to be taken into consideration is the body frame
– we have all seen people with tiny wrists and ankles and others who are more
largely built. So how much you weigh
will depend on your frame as well as shape etc.
Also I know this sounds funny (but you must be used to this by now!) but
I think that some people’s bones weigh more than others – I have been the same
size as friends but I weigh sometimes more than 2 stone more – so this is my
answer to that!
|
Height less
than 5' 2"
(Less than 155cms) |
Height
5' 2" - 5' 5"
(155cms - 163cms) |
Height more
than 5' 5"
(More than 163cms) |
||
Small
|
Less than
5.5"
(140mm) |
Less than
6.0"
(152mm) |
Less than
6.25"
(159mm) |
||
Medium
|
5.5" - 5.75"
(140 - 146mm) |
6" - 6.25"
(152 - 159mms) |
6.25" - 6.5"
(159 - 165mm) |
||
Large
|
More than
5.75"
(146mm) |
More than
6.25"
(159mm) |
More than
6.5"
(165mm) |
||
|
Height more
than 5' 5" (More than
163cms)
|
||||
Small
|
5.5" - 6.5" (140 - 165mm)
|
||||
Medium
|
6.5" - 7.5" (165 - 191mm)
|
||||
Large
|
More than
7.5" (191mm)
|
||||
In the past
Years ago it was recognised that there were different
body types and they were categorised according to their shape only. This was
before we understood the hormonal and metabolic differences between the body
types. Sorry, Guys, if the explanation is a bit biased to the ladies but the
descriptions still stand for the well-known types of body shapes, mesomorph,
ectomorph and endomorph.
·
Android was called the mesomorph
·
Thyroid was called the ectomorph
·
Lymphatic was called the endomorph
·
Gynaeoid - this body type has not been previously
described as it has been developed by Sandra Cabot – it has never been
identified before because it is mainly a woman’s hormonal body type and is
probably a combination of several other body types.
Thursday, 12 March 2015
You do need to know roughly how many calories you are consuming!!
for a session please contact me at info@unleashyourfullpotential.co.uk
The press is full of people saying you dont need to know how many calories you are consuming - you are being told that it doesnt matter how many good calories a "good" food like an advocado has because it is good for you. Yes these foods are good for you but if you have a weight problem adding an advocado to your diet every day will be a sure way of putting on weight!!
The calories needed per day has not been revisited since we walked everywhere and didnt have central heating! So 1800 for women and 2000 for men is very outdated unless you are very young and very active!! It is more like 1200 for women and 1500 for men. Dont forget as well that every 10 years you need to drop your calorie intake by 10% or you will put on weight. Likewise if you want to add a handful of nuts you will have to make allowances in your diet otherwise you will put on weight!
I agree that eating an advocado is better for you than a sausage roll (they both have the same calories) but they will both put on weight if you are on a diet. Eating plans that say they dont count calories do behind the scenes even though you dont have to count them yourselves. If you are on a fast track weight loss the company wont have you eating more than 1200 calories and it will be made up of good things. Moderation in everything is the key and if you are on a restricted diet for the rest of your life you have to be able to eat what you love occasionally otherwise you will go mad!
I have lost weight just eating a bag of crisps and an apple a day - not recommended! Also there have been television programs where somebody has eaten a McDonalds a day and they have lost weight. So whatever people say somewhere along the line calories in will affect the weight loss. I had a friend who went on a banana and milk diet 20 years ago. She was told to eat as many bananas as she wanted a day as they were good for her and as she had a big appetite she ate about 9 - a biggish banana is about 120 calories so with the milk she was over 1500 calories a day and guess what - she put on weight and couldnt understand it!!!!
I have a severely underactive thyroid and have to restrict my intake and have noticed that it doesnt matter what I ate as long as I stay under 1000 calories a day. Interestingly now they say that eating 500 calories a day for a couple of days a week is good for you. It gives your system a chance to rest and reduces inflammation and could enable you to live longer - if you wanted to!!!! And I do know what I am talking about as I have been on a diet since I was born at 12lb!!
I recommend a good diet (I like the Hay and Eat right for your type (blood group) especially eating 5 veg a day - it should be 5 VEG a day and not 5 FRUIT AND VEG. Fruit should be eaten inbetween meals and max two pieces a day. You get far more vitamins and minerals from veg than you do from fruit. Also the fruit affects your insulin and can make you hungry. Eat when you are hungry and stop before you are full. Dont eat the minute you are hungry because it is good for you to feel the hunger. You dont need 3 meals a day if you are not hungry (I have 2). If you cant get the recommend veg in these meals either juice them (veg only) or take a supplement like JuicePlus (this is what I do).
In future blogs I want to talk about body shapes and how they rule your lives and your weight
The press is full of people saying you dont need to know how many calories you are consuming - you are being told that it doesnt matter how many good calories a "good" food like an advocado has because it is good for you. Yes these foods are good for you but if you have a weight problem adding an advocado to your diet every day will be a sure way of putting on weight!!
The calories needed per day has not been revisited since we walked everywhere and didnt have central heating! So 1800 for women and 2000 for men is very outdated unless you are very young and very active!! It is more like 1200 for women and 1500 for men. Dont forget as well that every 10 years you need to drop your calorie intake by 10% or you will put on weight. Likewise if you want to add a handful of nuts you will have to make allowances in your diet otherwise you will put on weight!
I agree that eating an advocado is better for you than a sausage roll (they both have the same calories) but they will both put on weight if you are on a diet. Eating plans that say they dont count calories do behind the scenes even though you dont have to count them yourselves. If you are on a fast track weight loss the company wont have you eating more than 1200 calories and it will be made up of good things. Moderation in everything is the key and if you are on a restricted diet for the rest of your life you have to be able to eat what you love occasionally otherwise you will go mad!
I have lost weight just eating a bag of crisps and an apple a day - not recommended! Also there have been television programs where somebody has eaten a McDonalds a day and they have lost weight. So whatever people say somewhere along the line calories in will affect the weight loss. I had a friend who went on a banana and milk diet 20 years ago. She was told to eat as many bananas as she wanted a day as they were good for her and as she had a big appetite she ate about 9 - a biggish banana is about 120 calories so with the milk she was over 1500 calories a day and guess what - she put on weight and couldnt understand it!!!!
I have a severely underactive thyroid and have to restrict my intake and have noticed that it doesnt matter what I ate as long as I stay under 1000 calories a day. Interestingly now they say that eating 500 calories a day for a couple of days a week is good for you. It gives your system a chance to rest and reduces inflammation and could enable you to live longer - if you wanted to!!!! And I do know what I am talking about as I have been on a diet since I was born at 12lb!!
I recommend a good diet (I like the Hay and Eat right for your type (blood group) especially eating 5 veg a day - it should be 5 VEG a day and not 5 FRUIT AND VEG. Fruit should be eaten inbetween meals and max two pieces a day. You get far more vitamins and minerals from veg than you do from fruit. Also the fruit affects your insulin and can make you hungry. Eat when you are hungry and stop before you are full. Dont eat the minute you are hungry because it is good for you to feel the hunger. You dont need 3 meals a day if you are not hungry (I have 2). If you cant get the recommend veg in these meals either juice them (veg only) or take a supplement like JuicePlus (this is what I do).
In future blogs I want to talk about body shapes and how they rule your lives and your weight
Tuesday, 10 March 2015
Of course these TV chefs are making people fatter!
There was a story in the paper at the weekend suggesting that the new TV chefs are making people fatter - well no shit sherlock!! Of course they are!!
As a nation we are supposed to be cutting down on sugar, wheat, biscuits and cakes and what happens - we get the British Bakeoff - and now cup cakes are everywhere!! A slice of cake is roughly about 400 calories which is a 1/3rd of your daily intake - apart from the sugar which we know is addictive!
So James Martin (as much as I think he is lovely) cooks with enough butter to sink a battle ship - OK some is good for you but not in the quantities that these receipes call for - and it is toxic when fried so you should only use a little palm or coconut oil which is not toxic.
All these shows show huge heavy meals that are full of calories!! I know it is good to cook from scratch but you need to take into account portions, fat etc and most people dont know how to do that. Big slimming companies and some doctors say you dont have to count calories but I have to tell you that you do especially if you have a serious weight problem. Yes advocados are great fat but if you eat a whole one on a diet and dont make allowances elsewhere you will put on weight!
But other shows so that over eating is OK - Come dine with me and Dinner date show big three course meals virtually every night. If you dont have a weight problem you certainly will if you continue to eat three course meals + booze!! The calories in meal like that is roughly my weeks whole allowance!!
Remember you need good quality protein with veg. You should aim to eat 5 veg a day which means you have to have a salad or veg at lunch and dinner - and then 1 fruit. Fruit will make you feel hungry so keep to one or two small pieces. You get many more vits and minerals from veg than you do from fruit.
The new cook, Ella has wonderful receipes which are many vegan, but dont be fooled that they are slimming!!! She uses a lot of oil and some receipes call for 2 advocados!! Cashew cream is wonderful to eat but at over 500 calories per 100g it is not going to help you diet!!
So my advice is to be sensible and have some idea of what you are eating!
As a nation we are supposed to be cutting down on sugar, wheat, biscuits and cakes and what happens - we get the British Bakeoff - and now cup cakes are everywhere!! A slice of cake is roughly about 400 calories which is a 1/3rd of your daily intake - apart from the sugar which we know is addictive!
So James Martin (as much as I think he is lovely) cooks with enough butter to sink a battle ship - OK some is good for you but not in the quantities that these receipes call for - and it is toxic when fried so you should only use a little palm or coconut oil which is not toxic.
All these shows show huge heavy meals that are full of calories!! I know it is good to cook from scratch but you need to take into account portions, fat etc and most people dont know how to do that. Big slimming companies and some doctors say you dont have to count calories but I have to tell you that you do especially if you have a serious weight problem. Yes advocados are great fat but if you eat a whole one on a diet and dont make allowances elsewhere you will put on weight!
But other shows so that over eating is OK - Come dine with me and Dinner date show big three course meals virtually every night. If you dont have a weight problem you certainly will if you continue to eat three course meals + booze!! The calories in meal like that is roughly my weeks whole allowance!!
Remember you need good quality protein with veg. You should aim to eat 5 veg a day which means you have to have a salad or veg at lunch and dinner - and then 1 fruit. Fruit will make you feel hungry so keep to one or two small pieces. You get many more vits and minerals from veg than you do from fruit.
The new cook, Ella has wonderful receipes which are many vegan, but dont be fooled that they are slimming!!! She uses a lot of oil and some receipes call for 2 advocados!! Cashew cream is wonderful to eat but at over 500 calories per 100g it is not going to help you diet!!
So my advice is to be sensible and have some idea of what you are eating!
Tuesday, 3 March 2015
Why do people talk at you? The art of conversation has gone!
for a session with me please email me at info@unleashyourfullpotential.co.uk
I went to 12 schools and spent a great deal of time at coffee mornings, lunch parties and handing out drinks at cocktail parties! My father was in the RAF and in those days it was very social!! So I learnt the art of conversation and how to ask questions to move a conversation on. But this art seems to have disappeared now!!
A friend of mine used to have what we called her 20 questions! Where do you live, what do you do etc and then the idea is that they ask you back - but we noticed that people didnt. Even when we were talking we could see that the person wasnt listening but wondering how they could get back into the conversation and talk over you! That is why programs like Loose Women are full of women that talk over each other and dont listen to the other people - because they like the sound of their own voices! Most television interviewers talk about themselves, dont ask open questions and then talk over the interviewee! Then you have the competion - "I am tired today" the answer back is then "you are not as tired as me"!! My husband went on a course at the Manoir and was so excited - as he was telling my cousins they didnt say what did you cook or did you have fun - they all went I prefer Gordon Ramsey etc - not one of them asked him a question about the day but turned the conversation back to themselves!
In my case I have sat and listened to this because I had low self esteem - I felt unworthy and was only too glad that these people were talking at me! I thought I was boring and that nobody would be interested in what I had to say. I thoought that if I kept the conversation going with asking questions about them (because people like talking about themselves) that they would like me and want to see me again. So for years I have sat and listened to subjects that I had no interest in! When I mention this to other people and they notice the same as me but then unfortunately a conversation is never the same again! The people I mention it too usually have low self esteem as well and dont talk about themselves.
So now I have a good self esteem and dont want to listen and I notice that my new spiritual friends dont do this - they ask questions on an equal basis and are keen to listen to the answers. I do have problems with existing friends and now I have to say something otherwise I can feel it build up inside.
When you have low self esteem you put up with anything - I did the same with men. Why dont people say what are you doing this weekend or what did you do - anymore? Then constantly start telling you what they did! A friend went to Brighton last year for a day and she talked about it for 40 minutes!!
Last year my body was awash with cortisol and I started to lose my hair and eyelashes. Only about 2 people have asked me if it has stopped falling out - so when you are ill you certainly find out who your REAL friends are!
However, the worm has turned and is not putting up with it anymore! and neither do you! Get rid of the people who dont care or ask about you or your well being and get new friends.
I went to 12 schools and spent a great deal of time at coffee mornings, lunch parties and handing out drinks at cocktail parties! My father was in the RAF and in those days it was very social!! So I learnt the art of conversation and how to ask questions to move a conversation on. But this art seems to have disappeared now!!
A friend of mine used to have what we called her 20 questions! Where do you live, what do you do etc and then the idea is that they ask you back - but we noticed that people didnt. Even when we were talking we could see that the person wasnt listening but wondering how they could get back into the conversation and talk over you! That is why programs like Loose Women are full of women that talk over each other and dont listen to the other people - because they like the sound of their own voices! Most television interviewers talk about themselves, dont ask open questions and then talk over the interviewee! Then you have the competion - "I am tired today" the answer back is then "you are not as tired as me"!! My husband went on a course at the Manoir and was so excited - as he was telling my cousins they didnt say what did you cook or did you have fun - they all went I prefer Gordon Ramsey etc - not one of them asked him a question about the day but turned the conversation back to themselves!
In my case I have sat and listened to this because I had low self esteem - I felt unworthy and was only too glad that these people were talking at me! I thought I was boring and that nobody would be interested in what I had to say. I thoought that if I kept the conversation going with asking questions about them (because people like talking about themselves) that they would like me and want to see me again. So for years I have sat and listened to subjects that I had no interest in! When I mention this to other people and they notice the same as me but then unfortunately a conversation is never the same again! The people I mention it too usually have low self esteem as well and dont talk about themselves.
So now I have a good self esteem and dont want to listen and I notice that my new spiritual friends dont do this - they ask questions on an equal basis and are keen to listen to the answers. I do have problems with existing friends and now I have to say something otherwise I can feel it build up inside.
When you have low self esteem you put up with anything - I did the same with men. Why dont people say what are you doing this weekend or what did you do - anymore? Then constantly start telling you what they did! A friend went to Brighton last year for a day and she talked about it for 40 minutes!!
Last year my body was awash with cortisol and I started to lose my hair and eyelashes. Only about 2 people have asked me if it has stopped falling out - so when you are ill you certainly find out who your REAL friends are!
However, the worm has turned and is not putting up with it anymore! and neither do you! Get rid of the people who dont care or ask about you or your well being and get new friends.
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