Why do people talk at you? The art of conversation has gone!

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I went to 12 schools and spent a great deal of time at coffee mornings, lunch parties and handing out drinks at cocktail parties!  My father was in the RAF and in those days it was very social!!  So I learnt the art of conversation and how to ask questions to move a conversation on.  But this art seems to have disappeared now!!

A friend of mine used to have what we called her 20 questions!  Where do you live, what do you do etc and then the idea is that they ask you back - but we noticed that people didnt.  Even when we were talking we could see that the person wasnt listening but wondering how they could get back into the conversation and talk over you! That is why programs like Loose Women are full of women that talk over each other and dont listen to the other people - because they like the sound of their own voices! Most television interviewers talk about themselves, dont ask open questions and then talk over the interviewee!  Then you have the competion - "I am tired today" the answer back is then "you are not as tired as me"!!  My husband went on a course at the Manoir and was so excited - as he was telling my cousins they didnt say what did you cook or did you have fun - they all went I prefer Gordon Ramsey etc - not one of them asked him a question about the day but turned the conversation back to themselves!

In my case I have sat and listened to this because I had low self esteem - I felt unworthy and was only too glad that these people were talking at me!  I thought I was boring and that nobody would be interested in what I had to say. I thoought that if I kept the conversation going with asking questions about them (because people like talking about themselves) that they would like me and want to see me again.  So for years I have sat and listened to subjects that I had no interest in!  When I mention this to other people and they notice the same as me but then unfortunately a conversation is never the same again!  The people I mention it too usually have low self esteem as well and dont talk about themselves.

So now I have a good self esteem and dont want to listen and I notice that my new spiritual friends dont do this - they ask questions on an equal basis and are keen to listen to the answers.  I do have problems with existing friends and now I have to say something otherwise I can feel it build up inside.

When you have low self esteem you put up with anything - I did the same with men.  Why dont people say what are you doing this weekend or what did you do - anymore?  Then constantly start telling you what they did!  A friend went to Brighton last year for a day and she talked about it for 40 minutes!!

Last year my body was awash with cortisol and I started to lose my hair and eyelashes.  Only about 2 people have asked me if it has stopped falling out - so when you are ill you certainly find out who your REAL friends are!

However, the worm has turned and is not putting up with it anymore!  and neither do you!  Get rid of the people who dont care or ask about you or your well being and get new friends.