I was 12lb when I was born! For the next few years I had various illnesses but didnt lose weight. When I got to puberty the weight really went mad and nothing I did made any difference - my mother was a fanatic and made my life a misery! The more I tried the bigger I got. When I was older I was subject to a few date rapes and one particularly nasty one when I was trying to get home because my father was dying and accepted a lift from a friend of a friend who wouldnt let me off his bus until I had had sex with him - my view of men was at rock bottom. So when I managed to loose a bit of weight I was travelling the world working and having to stay in hotels. This caused me further problems as I would have men knocking on my door, trying to pick me up in hotel corridors or airports and couldnt even go down for dinner because of the pickups so had to eat in my room. I worked in Mexico for 6 weeks and my friend and I kept score and one day I had 30 hits!! So by now I was really fed up with men and this is when the weight started to go back on as I didnt want all this attention from men.
When I did reiki 18 years ago (I had managed to lose weight through starving, slimming and water pills, laxatives, homeopathy and 3 hours of exercise a day!), I suddenly swelled up with water. A lot of this was to do with past lives that I talk about in my blog, but I discovered I had been sexually abused from 3 to 6 and then again at 8. What I discovered was that I had added the weight as protection against men (therefore abuse) as when I was slim I was very attractive and had men slobbering over me! Because my subconscious knows that I would starve until the weight came off (I lived on 150 calories for 7 years!) it decided to lower my already dodgy thyroid and pack water on which I couldnt lose what ever I did. I consulted loads of therapies and when I put on more weight (I got thrown out of slimming world and weight watchers for putting on weight!) they blamed me and overeating - believe me I wasnt! I spent over £250,000 as sexual abuse is very difficult to heal as the inner child and the soul are broken and need a lot of work and patience. If your subconscious doesnt feel safe it will do EVERYTHING IT CAN TO KEEP YOU SAFE and weight it thinks is one of the best ways. Unfortunately we know it isnt so the first thing we have to do is retrain the subconscious.
I am still not totally there but I want to be an attractive woman but am still not bothered about that men!! I talk about all the therapies that I feel work for weight loss and they are listed in my book WHY?WEIGHT. Why not contact me on info@unleashyourfullpotential.co.uk for more information and I can help you on your path with weight.
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